Should the space shuttle engine really be measured in horsepower? Today I heard it had 40,000. Shouldn't it be measured in, like, birdpower?

In other news, it appears Boston’s state government has made it illegal for anyone to walk about in public without wearing some article of clothing — be it shirt, pant, or hat — that bears the Red Sox logo. This new trend is apparently related to a similar government decree passed after 9/11 which made it illegal for Americans to go out in public without a representation of the Stars & Stripes either pinned to ones person, or stuck to ones car. The most recent law requiring all car owners to display either gold or red & blue-striped magnetic ribbons on the rear of their vehicles passed through the Senate with an overwhelming majority vote, as was expected.

What surprised many was the passing of the “Armstrong Bill” which enforces the wearing of plastic bracelets stamped with abstract sentiments such as: “LOVE” and “COURAGE” and “RED SOX” after the Lance Armstrong LIVESTRONG bracelet proved to be such a national morale booster. Thankfully, the Walgreens corporation quickly stepped up to the plate, meeting the high demand with inexpensive bracelets bearing words of compassion, sympathy and sports team allegiance.