How much of our precious resources are being wasted each year rebuilding the thousands of Florida homes wracked by hurricanes? Do we really want to continue associating our great nation with the kind of people who would choose to live in a land where the hurricane is such a common occurrence they felt compelled to name a season after it?

In short, people like this guy:

If the people of Pensacola had any brains at all they would change the name of the town to Pepsicola and reap the benefits of bottomless sponsorship cash. But if this fails to materialize, I've devised an alternative plan. What I propose is: we cut off Florida and either a) declare it its own sovereign nation or b) give it to Cuba.

No matter how you slice it, we accomplish three fantastic things. 1) we give the Cuban refugees a nice place to land their giant tire rafts (assuming they're not instantly killed in a massive hurricane). 2) we get a quicker way to circumnavigate the country (saving billions in fuel). And most importantly we 3) dissasociate ourselves from Floridians. I think we'll all sleep a little more soundly as a result.